It only takes a split second for a life changing experience

Tomorrow I go for my 5th radiation treatment.

These sessions frighten me more than my 3 months of chemotherapy.  Although chemo's side effects left me ill for days on end, radiation is daunting.  With chemo, I sat in a lounger fully dressed as I studied the poison dripping into my veins.  I could watch tv, listen to music, visit with other patients.  The nurses even offered snacks. . . . many of us were hooked up for hours.

I chose to read, although I always wished my fellow comrades well as they completed their treatment.  Sometimes we didn't speak a word - just a look into each others eyes along with a gentle nod. .  . a bond like no other.

Radiation requires me to undress from the waist up and I lay on a hard surface with my hands above my head as I listen to the zaps of radiation precisely enter my body.  I'll admit I shake like I'm chilled to the bone and no one can stay in the room and give comfort by holding my hand.

It's short and sweet. . . maybe 10 mins in total.  Makes me wonder how effective it can be and then I'm reminded it only takes a split second for a life changing experience. . . . a car accident, the words "I do", your baby's first cry, a last breath, . . . . . hearing your doctor say the word cancer. 

Okay, I get it. . . . the apprehension is worth it.  In just a few seconds all cancer cells in a localized area are destroyed. So, as I lay there I imagine the game Pacman and all the little ghosts are cancer cells being eaten by the yellow icon with a V shaped mouth.  Zap - Gooble Gooble.

Cancer is one of the cards life has dealt me and I'll fight the big C until I hear the word "remission".  I was told by my doctor that I was in the percentage of patients who were the sickest from chemo.  Please don't get me wrong, I don't feel sorry for myself for life is worth the battle.  I survived the side effects and if I can do it, anyone can. 

Next:  As I'm fighting the big battle, there are others in my life who are affected.